Thankfulness

I'm starting this at the beginning of November, but it won't be posted until the end of the month. Since Thanksgiving is this month, I'm going to write down one thing each day that I am thankful for.

Ephesians 5:20

"Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."

Day 1: October. It's my favorite month and I'm super thankful for the awesome memories I made.

Day 2: Friends that don't leave my side, even when I do/say stupid things and am difficult to get along with 

Day 3: The opportunities I get to serve and bring glory to my Savior, Jesus Christ. (I am definitely NOT worthy!)

Day 4: Friends that go out of their way to make me laugh and bring a smile to my face.

Day 5: Restored relationships (relationships I thought could never be mended, but Jesus came in, restored them, and forgiveness came).

Day 6: My amazing soccer team that has definitely become more than just my team but my family.

Day 7: Football. It has become one of my favorite things to watch/go to. So many memories and so much fun is always had at the games.

Day 8: Food. Enough said.

Day 9: God's love. Cliche´ I know, but Romans 5:8 is like crazy. God loved me while I was a worthless sinner! That is an unfathomable kind of love... 

Day 10: The new black sweater I'm wearing right now. It's so soft and warm, its just great. (I'm also thankful for all my other clothes too... my sweater is just really on point right now though)

Day 11: My church. It has brought some pretty awesome people into my life.

Day 12: My sisters. They have always been there and supported me.

Day 13: The teachers at my school. They genuinely love and care about me. They aren't only my teachers, but my friends as well.

Day 14: Tennessee. I love the ministry I get the opportunity to work with there and the people I have gotten to meet. Its just a good place to be able to get away for a while.

Day 15: Unofficial big brothers that are always looking out for me.

Day 16: God's forgiveness. I screw up- a lot. But He is always there with open arms to bring me back to Him.

Day 17:  God's plan. Even when I don't understand He is working for my good

Day 18: Heat. It is such a fantastic thing when it's 20 degrees or below in the mornings

Day 19: My clean house. I have the ability to clean it & that feeling when it's finally done is the best.

Day 20: The hard times in life... They've made me who I am and brought me closer to Christ

Day 21: Bonfires. They are just always so much fun and memories are always made

Day 22: Old friends. Even though I don't see them all the time, when I do see them its like we were never apart

Day 23: My daddy. He has always been such a great example of a hard working, Godly, respected man. I could not have asked for a better dad<3

Day 24: My car. It gets me where I need to be and doesn't judge my super embarrassing white girl jam sessions.

Day 25: A much needed Thanksgiving break!

Day 26: My awesome mom who does so much for our family and is a true example of a Proverbs 31 woman.

Day 27: My life and everything in it. Its not perfect, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

From Nothing Into Something

Psalms 139:13-16 (The Message)

"Oh yes, You shaped me first inside, then out;

You formed me in my mother's womb.

I thank You, High God-

You're breathtaking!

Body and soul, I am marvelously made!

I worship in adoration-

what a creation!

You know me inside and out,

You know every bone in my body;

You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,

how I was sculpted from nothing into something.

Like an open book,

You watched me grow from conception to birth;

all the stages of my life were spread out before You,

the days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day.

This verse is so over used in girl's Bible studies and youth conferences- and I mean rightly so.  But sometimes this becomes so cliche´ and redundant that we don't really stop and think about it.  So I switched it to The Message version which takes this verse to such a deeper level and gave me a new perspective on it that I absolutely love!

First off, this verse is a great encourager and one to remember when you're self-esteem is down and you need to be reminded how beautiful you are (even though true beauty comes from the inside-- but that's a whole other blog).  

Anyways, I love the phrase "I was sculpted from nothing into something".  Like I know how I was before Jesus came into my life, and let's just say I never want to go back to that.  My worst day as a believer is WAY better than any of my good days without Jesus.  So I know how true this verse has been in my life because I once was nothing (and still am without Jesus).  But He has come in and changed my life into something.  There is a purpose for my life and a reason He has put me on this Earth (and same goes for you too!).  I'm not perfect and have it all together, I still screw up and feel like I'm nothing sometimes, but God always reminds me that there is so much more to life than I could ever dream.  He has made me (and still is making me) into something that He can use for HIS glory-- not mine!

Isaiah 64:8 

"But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand."

This verse goes along so well, because we have to allow ourselves to be the clay in the hands of God. If we never become the clay, how can He make us into something beautiful?

The other phrase I really love is "the days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day".  As a senior in high school, I'm freaking out.  I have no idea what I'm going to do and when I do figure out a plan for my life, what about if it isn't God's plan? Where am I supposed to go to college? What am I supposed to major in? What if I don't get in? What if what I want isn't what God wants for my life? and the list of question goes on and on.... But this verse tells me that God knows exactly what the plan is.  He's the only one that knows the past, present, and future so why am I freaking out...?

My trust is in Him-- the one that knows best.  He is forever granting me peace and reassuring me that He is going to guide me and be with me every step of the way.  

And on the days I start to feel like I'm nothing... He reminds me that I am something!

Deuteronomy 31:6

"Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you."

Halloween

Halloween is my absolute FAVORITE holiday! 

I know, that sounds sacrilegious...  Like shouldn't I like Christmas, Thanksgiving or Easter more?  (I definitely love the meanings behind those holidays WAY more than Halloween)
But Halloween is just so much fun to me.  You get to dress up, get free candy, go to Halloween parties, watch scary movies, and haunted houses are always an adventure to be had.  The little kid in me definitely comes out on this awesome holiday.

I know to some Christians Halloween is a tough holiday and many people have many different opinions about it.  So here is an article explaining the history of Halloween:

When we consider the history of Halloween (a Christian perspective), it may seem as if the modern holiday has gotten out of hand. After all, doesn’t Halloween glorify evil? Is it right to send our children out as devils and vampires? Should we emphasize the saints, whose nearly forgotten feast day is the reason for Halloween? Hallow is the same word for "holy" that we find in the Lord’s Prayer, and e’en is a contraction of "evening." The word Halloween itself is a shortened form of "All Hallows Eve," the day before All Saints Day. This holiday, properly understood and celebrated with all of its fun trappings, can be a way for us to deepen our understanding of faith.
Halloween has its roots in the ancient Celtic tribes of Ireland, Scotland, Wales, and Brittany. On October 31, the tribes would celebrate the festival of Samhain. During this festival, Celts believed the souls of the dead -- including ghosts, goblins, and witches -- returned to mingle with the living. In order to scare away the evil spirits, people would wear masks and light bonfires.
When the Romans conquered the Celts, they added their own touches to the Samhain festival, such as making centerpieces out of apples and nuts for Pomona, the Roman goddess of the orchards. The Romans also bobbed for apples and drank cider -- traditions which may sound familiar to you. But where does the Christian aspect of the holiday come into play? In 835, Pope Gregory IV moved the celebration for all the martyrs (later all saints) from May 13 to November 1. The night before became known as All Hallow’s Even or “holy evening.” Eventually the name was shortened to the current Halloween. On November 2, the Roman Catholic Church celebrates All Souls Day. 
The purpose of these feasts is to remember those who have died, whether they are officially recognized by the Roman Catholic Church as saints or not. It is a celebration of the “communion of saints,” which reminds us that the church is not bound by space or time. (http://www.allaboutgod.com/history-of-halloween-christian-perspective-faq.htm) 

So as you can see, Christians have actually had a part in the history of Halloween.
Now, I don't think we should go out dressed as things/people that don't represent Christ well.

This year, as with every year, I always dress up (and probably always will...)
I went as a Flapper from the 1920's because that is my absolute favorite time period!

Since I love Halloween so much, I will put the money into making a costume that I love.

This one came mainly from Spirit Halloween Store where I got the dress, headband, and fish-net tights for $35.00.  I also got the red feather boa from Hobby Lobby for $7.99.  I already had the strand of pearls, earrings and Jessica Simpson black heels.  (But I will wear this costume again for future Halloweens) I have a closet in one of my spare bedrooms full of Halloween costumes that I alternate between year after year.

This year I celebrated Halloween at one of my friend's party.  As always, we had a blast!  

Part of my senior class- Class of 2015!

As I said in my very first blog.

This is a journey of my life, not only now, but reminiscing past memories as well.

My church does a spin off of Liberty University's Scaremare every year (except for this year we took the year off).

But Scaremare is a haunted house my church does that has your typical haunted house scenes- clowns, zombies, psych wards, chainsaws, etc.  But it also includes "real life" scenes that show actual ways you can die- car wrecks, drug/ alcohol overdoses, suicide, texting and driving, just to name a few.  At the end of the haunted house you then go to rooms where we have people there to tell you about the Gospel, that death is a real thing and do you know where you're going after you die?  

This outreach is to tell people that God sent His one and only son (Jesus), to die on the cross for all humanity's sin (because we are ALL sinners), and that God raised Jesus from the dead on the third day.  So we can spend eternity in Heaven if we ask Him into our heart.

This is one of my favorite parts about Halloween.  I get to dress up like a crazy person, and as we like to say to "literally scare the hell out of people" (because people are getting saved. A little cheesy Christian humor... Lol....).  It definitely is an awesome (and hilarious) experience!

Its always Bo-Time, right...?

Dating Won't Cure A Lonely Heart

So, I have this random obsession with reading books about dating.  I always have, and probably always will because I find it very interesting... weird, I know.  My favorite is definitely Chad Eastham.  He writes the absolute best books about dating, but why I love him is because he compares and contrasts males and females and how our brains work differently (which I just find fascinating).

This blog is not about one of Chad Eastham's books (even though I'm sure there will be one eventually) but on "Boundaries In Dating" by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.  I'm specifically talking about chapter 4 "Dating Won't Cure A Lonely Heart".

The issue discussed in this chapter has always been one that really bothers me and a huge issue in our society.  We are so focused on being in a relationship that we forget about the point of a relationship- caring about and possibly marrying that person.  I tell one of my friends all the time, "You don't actually care about her, you just want a girlfriend & you can 'make do' with her".  And unfortunately, this is the idea of a lot of people in our generation- both guys and girls.

Why are our girls not being taught that they deserve so much more than a guy that disrespects and abuses them?  Why are our guys not being taught that caring for another person is not a sign of weakness, but instead of strength?  Since when does it make us "cool" or not, based on if we are in a relationship?

One of my favorite quotes is "You are not ready to date, until you are ready not to date".  Confusing, I know.  But you cannot be happy in a relationship if you are not happy being single.  Because trust me, I don't care how awesome you think that special someone is going to be, they will fail you.  They cannot be your Savior and change your life.  They will screw up, they will not be there for you.If you are lonely DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT enter a relationship with someone.  It will only end in disaster and even more loneliness and self-esteem issues.

You must deal with your fear of aloneness before you ever enter into a relationship or there is no chance of you being happy because you will not have the ability to be choosy enough to pick the right person for you, a healthy one.  You are going to settle for someone less than you deserve.  DO NOT settle!  God has so much more for you than to settle for anyone less than who He has picked out for you!  So be patient and wait.  Please just wait.

While you are single, focus on becoming the person God has created you to be.  Being single is a gift.  I know, that sounds crazy, but it is!  Being single is the time to figure out who you are as a person, what you want in a future spouse, and a time for you to build lasting friendships.  Being single can be fun!  You aren't tied down to anything/ anyone, get involved in your church/school/whatever, find friends, or travel.

This book gives suggestions on "How to cure your aloneness without a dating relationship":

1. Strengthen your relationship with God.  Make Him your first priority so that you are not trying to get 'God needs' met by a relationship with a person.

2. Strengthen your relationships with safe, healthy Christians.  You need people to support you and are there for you when you need to talk, those people that can encourage you, but also tell you the hard things that you need to hear as well.

3. Pursue wholeness.  If you have issues from childhood experiences, past relationships, or family issues, these need to be addressed and worked out.  Your relationships will never work if you are looking for the other person to fill these needs and fix your problems.  If your dad walked out on you as a child, girls, DO NOT get into a relationship with a guy to try to fill that void in your life.  You need to resolve that issue, get consoling if needed.  Jesus is a "Father to the fatherless" (Psalm 68:5), let Him fill every void and become all that you need.

Please do not use other people to satisfy your selfish needs.  If you are jumping from relationship to relationship, there is a problem.  If you stay in a relationship that you know you shouldn't be in for fear of being single, there is a problem.  If you have settled for someone that does not value and respect you and you can't walk away from it because you don't want to be alone, there is a problem.

"You must get to a place where you are happy with your life apart from a dating relationship in order to be happy with one."

Another good blog talking about patience in dating:

http://dishingsomekristyn.blogspot.com/2014/10/patience.html

Little Sister Left Behind

October 28.
The dreaded day of every year.
A day that gives me a swarm of emotions.

October 28.
The day I lost my big brother.
My best friend.
My comforter.
My protector.
My joy.
The one that could always bring a smile to my face.
The one that always picked on me. (That's what brothers are supposed to do, right?)
The one that was always there for me.

October 28.
The day my world turned upside down and completely changed.
The day my perfect little world, came crashing down, and completely shattered.
The day a piece of my heart left this earth & will only be put back into place when I take my last breath.

This day brings me a lot of emotions. Obviously I miss my brother more than words can express.  I miss him picking on me, when he would walked into the room and yelled "Scooter!" as soon as he saw me and I would go running to him and jump into his arms where he would pick me up and spin me around, when I would ask him to go jump on the trampoline and he would say "honey, bro-bro no do trampolines", when he would mow the yard with me sitting on his lap, and the days where just me and him would go hang out, go to the gas station, and get those big chewy sweet tarts (but not eat the yellow ones because those are gross).  This day makes me happy though because I am incredibly blessed to have had 10 years with him and share the memories I do have of him.  To have had the opportunity to have had the best big brother there is.  It gives me feelings of hope because even though his choices did not always show it, my brother loved Jesus, so I know one day I will get to see him again! Boy, that is going to be an awesome day....  I'm overwhelmed with grief on this day every year, yet at the same time, at complete peace because I know that God has a reason for everything (and He has shown me reasons as to why He called my brother home).

My brother had an impact not only on my life, but with most of the people he came in contact with.  He was a hard worker, a good friend, listened to what you had to say, and genuinely cared about others.  He had a heart of gold and always such a servant.  Yes, he had his flaws- but don't we all?

There was definitely never a single dull moment with my Bro-Bro.  He was the "Zack Morris" of his high school.  He always knew how to light up a room and bring a smile to anyone's face.  That might be what I miss the most.

Two of my favorite quotes he always said:
   > "If you're going to do it, do it right or don't do it at all."
   > "2nd place is the 1st loser!"

About 3 years before my brother died, he wrote out a list of "Things About Myself".
Here's a few of the things off his list:
   > "I strive for perfection" (maybe thats where I get that from...?)
   > "I like things to go a certain way, usually my way!"
   > "Setting and achieving goals is a must"
   > "Being late is unacceptable" (oops...)
   > "I believe you should do what you say you are going to do"
   > "I can't stand excuses and I am not interested in hearing them"
   > "I hate lazy people"
   > "I think if its the truth you shouldn't be afraid to say it."
   > "With no trust in a person you have nothing- If you ever lose trust it is so hard to gain it back"
   > "People you think are your friends may not really be."
   > "I do not always make 'wise' decisions"
   > "Don't make excuses nobody cares." (he must really not like excuses, he mentioned that twice)
   > "You can always be replaced with someone better."
   > "Try to save something however pay your bills first."

He was always so goofy, but I definitely have learned a lot of good life lessons from him.

I miss him more and more everyday. 

Whoever said "it gets easier with time", clearly has never lost anyone close to them because it only gets harder.  But with my Jesus, I've made it this far and will continue on.  

Life is hard without my brother being here with me, but God has given me opportunities to share my brother's story countless times with people (specifically teenagers) who are hurting and need Jesus.  

My brother made mistakes and made bad decisions.... my brother was a drug addict.

Him and his girlfriend at the time decided to go for a drive while being under the influence of God only knows what.  His girlfriend was driving and lost control of the vehicle.  While he was thrown from the vehicle and died instantly at the scene, she walked away injury free. 

Do I think this is fair? 

No. 

But this is God's plan.  

Do I have bitterness and resentment towards her?

No.

 Why? 

Jesus.

I can't explain it, it doesn't make sense.  All I know is that I know what Jesus has had to forgive me of, and I have no right to hold anything against her.  

I miss my brother.  

He was only 24... so young, with so much life ahead of him.

But I know that he no longer is addicted to drugs.

He is no longer suffering.

Just because he was on drugs does not make him a bad person- he just made a bad decision (that unfortunately cost him his life).

His story is a lesson that we can all learn from.

Do not drink.

Do not do drugs. 

But love those who do- 

Pray for those with these addictions, because only He can fix it.

Drugs and alcohol are only tools of Satan that ruin families, relationships, friendships... Nothing good comes from these addictions.  But Jesus came to set us free.

October 28.

The day I learned how to truly forgive.

The day that when I had nothing left, Jesus became my everything.

Fly high bro-bro. 

[*Jody Wayne Spurlin: March 8, 1982- October 28, 2006*]

Another blog done by someone close to Jody: 
http://scain02.blogspot.com/2011/10/impressions-on-our-hearts.html?m=1

Time Flies...

Everyone says it- "Time flies when you're having fun!"
But I never knew how fast it really would....
Freshman year I did a photo shoot with Blink of an Eye Photography located in North Carolina.

 This one is still one of my absolute favorites....

Just a few weeks ago, Blink of an Eye Photography did my senior pictures.
4 years have come and gone.
Just like that.
Before I knew it, before I felt like I've even had time to blink.

I've gone from that nervous, little freshman to a girl about to graduate in 8 months.
A girl who has now applied and been accepted to college, who still is trying to figure out what she is going to do with her life, and who she is becoming.
But a girl who has come a long way since freshman year- both physically and maturely, yet, still has a very long way to go too.

“I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person.” 
~ Audrey Hepburn

Don't blink.  Life is passing by, oh so fast. 

**Check out http://blinkofaneyephotographync.com for all photography needs- senior session, family portraits, weddings, etc.**

What am I even doing here anyways?

So....
I'm not a mom...
Nor a creative person....
Nor someone with an interesting life....
I'm actually just an average high schooler....
So why am I even starting a blog?

I don't even know.

Sometimes I just feel the need to type things out that are going on in my head- and Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. are just not the place to say what's really on my mind.  This is almost like my diary, except its public, and I'm not going to write about any deep, dark secrets (because thats just not very smart).  So I guess not really like a diary, at all actually. 

As you can tell, I'm a little random.  
But I do have a heart for Jesus, so most posts will have to do my love for Him and what He has placed on my heart, or what He is doing in my life at that particular time.
I also love fashion and everything girly (hence the blog's name: "diva"), so I may post things like that on here as well sometimes.
My friends, family, and life in general sometimes can be pretty... well... unique. 
Like I said before, I'm just a high schooler, so this blog is about to be a journey- stopping and reminiscing at past memories, looking forward at my future and dreams ahead, but also just taking a break and enjoying the present.

So....
You never know just where these blogs might lead....
But I hope you will enjoy this thing that I call "life"-
And will enjoy being "Behind the Scenes of a Real Life Diva" (aka me).